*This post is really hard for me to write
Recently I’ve been keeping a journal of my health, this includes mental health and physical health. I am blessed in life with an amazing and supportive mother who understands what I need and why I need it. Yet what happens on those days where I don’t even understand myself.
“I find myself being unreasonable with everyone but at the time it’s totally reasonable, i find myself worrying about whose my friend because they haven’t replied to a message in fifteen minutes. I find myself scared about what people will think if they really understand the extent of my long term health problem. I find myself keeping up with social activities to the point that I have a panic attack or throw up to keep friends. I find myself worrying to the point that I can’t feel my hands. I find myself scared of doing something wrong. I find myself being anxious of being me”.
I’ve tried everything …
1. I’ve gone to yoga – it made my chronic illness worse
2. I started taking medicine for my chronic illness – slight addiction to prescription drugs
3. I started drinking coffee for my chronic illness – Major addiction to coffee plus it made my anxiety worse
4. I started taking anxiety medication – i didn’t slep
5. I started taking sleep medication – It made my anxiety worse
So now what?
Well… I’m going to blog my way through some of this stress and anxiety. As readers you have all been brilliant to us. So I’m hoping that together we can figure something out for a lot of us. That is why I’m changing our talk tuesday to talking tuesday and we are going to talk our way through mental health and physical health together.
With coffee in my hand and my laptop in the other, I am excited about this project